Jan 12, 2010

Noisy, crazy, sloppy, lazy - what's the matter with kids today?*

I have the fever. Baby fever. No I am not pregnant. (And yes I will tell you when I am!)

It's definitely more on the forefront of our minds and when the mister and I talk about kids it's not oh someday, it's more like when I'm pregnant. (At one point I even said, "when we're pregnant," and Ben was quick to say "no, you get pregnant, we would have a baby.")

We aren't going to try to start a family anytime soon (no matter how I say that it still makes me giggle), because we know no matter how much we want a child, now is not the right time. We need two steady incomes, some (decent) savings, and closer to getting out of our little apartment. If I were pregnant in this apartment that would be one thing, but we have absolutely no room for a baby much less or everything that comes with it - crib, changing table, toys, etc.

But holy crap, it's like someone flipped a switch. I used to think oh yeah, kids are cute, blah blah, but I didn't get why it was such a big deal. But it's a little bit of me, a little bit of him, and from that a life is created. Wow. I have so much love for Ben, and the thought of a kiddo running around that is like him (in any way), makes me so giddy my heart just might burst!

I think women being pregnant has evolved into a whole status in this country, thanks to all the Hollywood glamour-ization of it. You know, the actress who gets pregnant, looks adorable and only gains "bump" weight, and is smokin' hot again within three weeks of the birth. However, I don't have a designer wardrobe and a personal trainer on hand to whip me back into shape.

It's not that I just want to be pregnant. I'm actually pretty sure I'll be miserable most of the time. For instance, I don't typically throw up when I'm sick, so when I do it's the end of the world. (Sometimes I'm dramatic in addition to being a hypochondriac). I feel bad for the mister when I get morning sickness.

I'm also a short girl with a stick shift car. People laugh, but I have to pull my seat as far forward as it will go in order to push the clutch all the way in. I truly believe I'm not going to be able to drive after about my 5th month of pregnancy.

It's weird, because while I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life, I know without a doubt I want to be a mom. Is it possible to be okay with one huge life changing event, but have no clue about another? I've always associated I'd have it together when I become a mom - but is this a myth like "settling down?"

So we'll see. I know this has been a crazy, rambling, post but I wanted to share this with you because you all are awesome, and I feel weird not talking about what's going on in my life on here. (Someone recently asked me if any of the people that read my blog are my real life friends and I responded, they're all my real life friends!)

Thanks for bearing with me through all my crazy thoughts, readers. Again, it'll be awhile before we try to get pregnant (seriously - cracking up - so mature, I know), but in the meantime any suggestions on how to control the baby fever? Anyone who has ever baby-sat, or any parent our there - please share your horror stories - maybe that will help! Anything I should do before I get pregnant? Any books you would recommend? Any way to talk about getting pregnant without feeling like you're talking about sex? (Yes I know how that sounded, but you know what I mean!) Anyone felt like they "had it together" when they had a baby? (If so please email me and tell me all your secrets!) Oh, and I still feel strongly about asking these types of questions.

Thanks for all your sweet comments yesterday. I love how honest everyone is - you all are the best! Happy Tuesday!

*The past two posts have had song lyrics as titles - anyone know what movie I was watching Sunday night?

(Photo: Iva Messy)


Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

I think I would have baby fever if I was married. I am sure you love Ben so much, you want to see someone that you both created. Plus, you are such a nurturing person, it's natural for you to have this desire to be a mom.

I don't have any advice for you, though, since I'm single & childless, I guess! :) The only thing I'd say is to savor your childless time w/ Ben. I have watched 3 of my siblings have children. They are all incredibly happy, but it definitely changes the focus of the marriage and it's no longer just about you two! So take a weekend get away or savor those lazy Sat or Sun mornings because those will be a thing of the past. It's totally worth the sacrafice since having a child is amazing, though!!

Kyla Roma said...

I've been struggling with this a little too, like Lisa says it seems to be the next natural thing to day dream about- but for us babies are definitely three years out yet. It makes me sad, but it also seems to ramp down the baby fever, I can't imagine what it would be like it we could actually have a baby now!

Good luck navigating this!

Nicole said...

I can't really relate yet, probably mostly because I'm not yet a Mrs. But I do have a couple comments. 1. All my mom ever wanted to be was a mom. I think it's a great goal to have. And to have other goals as well is just even better. 2. Babies don't fix problems. It's great to want a baby, just don't expect one to magically solve anything. I know that's not what you're saying, but I just wanted to throw it out there.

Good luck figuring everything out. Sorry I can't give any advice really. The only things I've seen about babies lately is "reasons to not have a baby." And for me, reading descriptions of the pain is good birth control for me for at least another five years. ;)

The Many Thoughts of a Reader said...

We are trying to have a baby and I completely know what you mean. I've gone through stages where I really wanted kids like NOW and then ehh not for a few more years.. Then I realized that I am 25 years old who has a family with a history of taking forever to get pregnant. So, then it was discussing it again with my hub, who wants to be a dad and will be an amazing one at that, but who is selfish (aren't we all). We detailed our plan and have much of our pre-kid goals accomplished. All of our school loans paid off is unrealistic if I want to HAVE children hahaha. A dishwasher and new oven (which would have been an hazard long story on that haha). And re do our bathroom. We are getting the kitchen done this week. The bathroom will be done as soon as we save up some more money. When we get our taxes back this year we will hopefully pay off my car loan or my smallest school loan. We like to tackle things in doable time tables. We also have the world's most annoying budget that seperates the things we are saving for. Home improvement, babies, vacations, rainy day plus others have their own percentages out of each check. I have always wnated to stay home. With the economy as it is and the knowledge that we CAN live off of dh's pay and that with parents/family/friends I can sub occasionally it won't be the end of the world. I can also do in home daycare if I want. But yeah, it's a tough grown up decision. We've been trying for a few months and I cannot wait to get pregnant. However, if something changes in our lives and we need to put it on hold for awhile again that is fine too. I want the best for my kids! And I will end this book now.

Tracie Nall said...

I definitely did not have it all together when I found myself pregnant, but I did read What to Expect When You are Expecting and a lot of prayer. There was a little bit of a "natural mom thing" that popped in after she was born, but mostly a lot of baby stuff is common sense and having a good pediatrician.

On the whole baby fever thing, I never went through that....but I have a friend who has the baby bug bad....only problem is that her husband doesn't want one. It is really sad.

However it all works out, the way you plan it or not, having a baby is a precious gift and you will do great!!

Amber said...

Sometimes I think about it and get a tiny bit of baby fever - but I know having a baby is a long ways away for me. Like 5+ years at a MINIMUM.

Would it help you be less baby fever-ish if you KNOW that the time is coming? Sit down and make a 2-year plan or something? I dunno.

I agree with what a few other people said about just savouring your non-baby time as much as possible right now.

Also, is it totally weird that I'm more excited about being pregnant one day then the prospect of actually HAVING the baby? I just think pregnant bellies are SO CUTE! Lol

P said...

I go through the odd broody phase - thankfully it doesn't last too long because I'm single and also pretty selfish. But sometimes I do have this momentary lapse when I suddenly wish I had a kid. It usually doesn't last long though.

Therefore I have no advice on how to curb it. Sorry!

Alison Kinsey said...

Hey girl!! Your blog is awesome, I can already tell from reading this first entry that I will enjoy reading more from you. I am going to follow :)

xo Kinsey

Lisa said...

I know how you feel! I think as we progress in years, the "baby fever" starts to hit us. I'm going to be 25, I'm with the man of my dreams...of course the thoughts are going to be there.

Some ways I overcome it:

1. I allow myself to daydream about it, a LOT. The daydreams actually help to cure it a little, as silly as that sounds. I used to tell myself not to think about it because now is not the time, blah blah, but I've started allowing myself to give in to the daydreams. To picture a little me or him running around, being cute, capturing my heart. The day dreams give me a little taste and satisfy those urges for now.
2. In addition to all that, I also make myself think about it realistically. I think about all the stuff I really want to do--the places I want to see, things I want to accomplish, finishing school, spending time with my friends. I think about how things ARE and I realize, that I am not ready for them to change. I am smitten by the IDEA of a baby, but I'm not ready for it to be really real yet! You know? I am not ready to have my life change, to have it be about someone other than me and him and what we feel like doing today. I want some more ME time before I settle down and devote my life to a little someone. So, forcing myself to think about alllll the other things that come along with a baby (besides just the cute, adorable part) really helps to curb the fever, and focus on my life, right now.

I hope this helps! <3

Megan said...

I'll be honest...I didn't read all these posts because they are long and about having babies and I can't have a baby right now haha :)

BUT the answer to the song title question is "Bye, Bye Birdie"

Give me a hard one next time!

A D Coursey said...

Yeah, I remember the Baby Fever... I even blogged about it on MySpace. It was a tough time because in your head you know how things are and how things are going, but in your heart you just want to take a flying leap into the unknown (with an arm full of onesies and a smile on your face).
We had a plan, but God intervened. I love my lil guy for all I'm worth, but I do miss the things I didn't get to accomplish pre-baby. Don't take those things for granted; although you can always do them, you will never be able to do them as irresponsibly as you can now. ;-)

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