Jan 8, 2010

This post makes me giggle (a lot)

Ohhh Friday. It feels like forever since we've had one of these. I'm ready to curl up and feel cozy. Doesn't this fireplace look just perfect?

I received a forwarded email from a friend yesterday and even if it's completely made up, it's absolutely hilarious! (I did change the names on the off chance this is true). So in the name of fabulous Fridays I wanted to share it with you.

Why Women Shouldn't Take Men Shopping

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Smith,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Smith, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares, get on it right away." This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing managment to lose time and costing the company money.

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

August 14: Moved a CAUTION - WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.

August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" EMTs were called.

September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the anti-depressants were.

October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.

October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but certainly not least:

October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here." One of the clerks passed out.

I'm still laughing. Honestly, part of why I found that so funny is that some of it sounds like stuff Ben would do!

I'm more than ready for the weekend. What are your plans dear readers? Anyone supposed to get the big snowstorm? Happy Friday!

(Photo: Walking Around)


The Many Thoughts of a Reader said...

ha that's great! have a good weekend!

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Very funny. :)

Tonight I have a potluck get together w/ my team at work. Tomorrow night we are celebrating a friend's birthday! Her husband has a sushi night planned and we are all going to make sushi! Should be a lot of fun!!

Have a fabulous weekend!!

Nicole said...

This is just too funny! Some of these that wouldn't really harm anyone sound like fun things to try.

Lucy The Valiant said...

Too funny! I may now be tempted to put boxes of condoms in random carts. OR! Put a box of tampons in a MAN'S cart! Oh, I kill myself!

Amber said...

Hahahaha - that is hilarious!!!

I am trying to catch up on my life this weekend. Getting back into my incredibly full schedule last week has been tough!

Have a great weekend, lovely! XO

Lisa said...

Hey! Thanks for stopping by my blog. :) That email you got is hilarious! I especially love that last one, with the dressing room. Sooo funny. <3

Post a Comment

Say it. You know you want to.