Mar 6, 2012

Walking the wire

Hi, my name is Becky and I'm a tight rope walker.

Okay, not literally, but figuratively that's how I feel most of the time.

I'm not sure how much you know about tight rope walking but it can be pretty difficult. You're high in the air, walking a very thin wire, and praying for two things: balance, and not to fall.*

In my version of walking the wire, I'm gripping a huge plate that holds everything in my life: marriage, career, blogging, friendships, fear, love, worries, books, movies, cute get the picture. Up until now I've always wobbled back and forth, trying to take on more without letting anything slip off my plate. I've arranged and re-arranged things until my time and energy is exhausted, just so I can maintain the status quo. Sometimes placing one foot in front of the other is all I can handle for a day.

But lately? I've had enough. I'm (metaphorically) letting it all go, and I'm determined not to be afraid of watching it fall. I know in the long run letting go will help me be a more complete version of myself.

However, I don't expect the short-term to be easy.

It's going to be uncomfortable. I will be pushing to think of myself and my life in ways that I haven't before. I will be forced to break out of my shell of complacency and face the reality of working hard for what I truly want.

I'm going to explore what my "dream" job looks like - then work to make that happen. I'm going to bask in the fabulous-ness that is my marriage - and then brainstorm with my husband how we can make it even better.

I will be examining each item on that plate, questioning whether it enhances or diminishes my life. If it doesn't make me 110% happy, it's getting tossed. (Here's looking at you money stress).

Life's too short to have regrets.

I don't want to cautiously tiptoe on that tight rope. I want to dance on it.

Here's hoping you'll join me.

*Disclaimer: I have never physically walked a tight rope, and all my knowledge comes from going to the circus and what's seen on TV. This obviously means I'm an expert, right?


Amber said...

Oh I feel you! This analogy fits my life really well lately too! We can only walk on the tightrope for so long though. I should really follow your lead and throw some things off!

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Oh man, I feel you on this Beck. That has been mean lately. I have felt precariously perched on this tight rope for the last couple of months. Between work stress and CFA studying and recovering from my surgery and worrying about my dad, I just feel like misstep away from falling off that dang wire. My challenge is that I care so much about my job and the CFA, so those things have to be front and center in my life, but that doesn't leave a lot of time for much else, so I, too, am examining what else takes up my time. From friendships to examining the things that take up my day-to-day life, I know some things have to shift. I don't feel like i am being a very good sister/daughter/friend/aunt lately, but I really need to let go of the pressure I put on myself to be perfect at all of those things as I know the people in my life understand how stretched thin I am these days.

Great post, as always. Love and miss you!

AshleyD said...

Your life and stress and worries all sound so familiar! :) What I mean is, I totally know what you're saying. I've been trying to re-evaluate my life and what makes me truly happy. It's kind of terrifying, but also really exhilarating!

Lucy The Valiant said...

Love. This!

Nora said...

Awesome post, Becky. I know how you feel re: piling it all on the plate and then reaching the point of exhaustion. Good for you for doing something about it, challenging yourself & growing! Will be awesome to see how it unfolds for you. xo

Erin said...

I loved this post, and I totally agree with you. I feel like I try so hard to balance everything. I am forever putting more and more on my plate, but never taking anything off! How can Ikeep balancing? IT is nice to know I'm not alone in this struggle. Thanks for posting, Becky. I'm going to pay a lot more attention to this in my life too, and make some changes.

Amy said...

This is EXACTLY how I'm feeling these days.

Em said...

Obviously you're an expert.

Unknown said...

Wow. I love this. And it's something that I can definitely relate to.

I'm excited that you are going after what you truly want in life. You're right, it's too short.

I think it's time I start examining what's on my over-committed plate, too. Thanks for this. :)

Stephany said...

This is amazing, Becky. Love it.

It can be so hard to juggle it all and make sure everything in your life is getting the necessary attention it needs. It's exhausting! I feel like I'm failing at so many areas of my life that I'm one gust of wind away from falling headfirst off my tightrope.

Love your plan, something I need to evaluate as well! I'm excited to see the changes that happen for you. :)

ruthpclark said...

Sounds like a wise, wise decision. I'm wishing the best for you :)

Suburban Sweetheart said...

Good analogy. And good resolve. <3

Alice Jones said...

I just found this through Jenny's blog, and totally agree - even blogged about a similar thing the other day! I've now talked to my boss about cutting down my hours so I can spend one day a week focusing on making dreams happen :) Best of luck with your journey!

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