Apr 9, 2013

Come Get Me

I mentioned during my blogging break I had my first hard fertility day in awhile. I let myself embrace the emotions and a little while later something beautiful poured out of me. This is not me telling you I'm pregnant (I wish!), but rather something that came out in my writing - thanks for letting me share it with you.

Dear Future Baby,

I think about you a lot - maybe that's weird because technically you don't exist yet - but in my heart you do. I wonder if you will be a boy or a girl, if you will be by yourself or with a twin. I wonder if you will be as stubborn as me, or as mischievous as your father, (and if it's a combination of the two Lord help us all).

I dream of all the different ways to show you you're loved.

It's been a long road, this fertility journey, and I'm not sure the end is quite in sight. Yet even as I write that, I know there are people who have experienced more pain, and have struggled longer than we have. There will always be a way a situation could be worse but what I've learned (and something I hope to teach you), is to have empathy, but to not let that diminish your own experiences.

Oddly enough, I was thinking about you while listening to a Kelly Clarkson CD - the song has nothing to do with kids or pregnancy, but some of the lyrics really struck me.


Fearless, with cape in hand,
Conquer what I need to mend,
Little girls get so broken.

But I sit, so patiently, drenched in what you want me to be
I can't escape

I'm ready now, oh I'm ready now
Oh I'm ready now, come get me

Through with golden roads and perfect love...
How I burn, how I burn,
I was so patient, waiting for my turn...


There are times when I doubt myself.

There is definitely more growing and learning I need to do.

But without a doubt, I am ready to take on any challenges you bring.

Open arms.

I'm just waiting for you.

Come get me.

All my love,
Your Mom

7 comments:

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

Touching letter, Becky. It's so easy for people to get wrapped up in their own situations that it's hard to see what else is going on in the world around them. The fact that you've maintained perspective through your journey and yet, given equal weight to your own struggles, is really impressive. And the idea of you standing there with open arms just waiting is really powerful (and what might have brought me to a few tears).

Lauren McKenna said...

So much love for you <3

Nora said...

Beautiful post.
Left me catching a few tears.

Stephany said...

This is beautiful, Becky. <3

Kelly (She Wears a Red Sox Cap) said...

This is a beautiful post. Sending hugs your way. You are already a wonderful mother to your future baby :)

Amber said...

Beautiful post friend. Thinking of you so much as you go through this journey. Your future baby is one lucky little kiddo!

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

That is a beautiful letter, Becky. I look forward to the day when you can share it with your daughter or son. He/she will be VERY loved! Sending hugs to you - I continue to pray for you and Ben!

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