My medicine arrived today. I've been anticipating it, even using the tracking number to see where it was in the delivery process. Ben was at home today, signed for it, and then called me to let me know he was sending me a picture of it. (What can I say? He gets me).
He sent me the picture and I whispered, "holy shit."
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I thought about not putting this online but...it makes an impression, doesn't it? |
All of a sudden it was real.
It was happening.
And it is terrifying.
It's more than taking medicine and going to doctor appointments. It's hopes and dreams, and the culmination of three years of trying to have a family.
I'm recognizing that it's a lot to go through if it doesn't work. There will be heartbreak and pain, and feelings I can't even fathom right now.
I'm recognizing it's a lot to go through if it does work. It'll mean a shift in thinking, and adjusting, because as thrilled as we will to be having a baby, we're used to being told no.
I sat for a few minutes, thinking about this next step, and alternately wondering if I was just overwhelmed or just needed to throw up. (And then I was laughing, wondering if this is what morning sickness would feel like).
I won't start medicine for awhile yet...but it's here. A reminder that there's hope and joy waiting for me.
A reminder of the next step - the excitement and anticipation to see what comes next.
Deep breath.
It starts soon.
10 comments:
(((())) Fingers crossed!
What an exciting step to take after such a long journey. Many prayers for you.
My fingers and toes are crossed and I am praying so hard that you have success in this first month of IUI! I guessing it brings a whole new meaning to the concept of 'trying' to have a baby! I am thinking of you guys and sending up many prayers!
Seconding what Lisa said; lots of prayers for you guys right now. Hugs and love to both of you. xo
Lisa said it perfectly - it brings a whole new meaning to the concept of 'trying' to have a baby!! I have been thinking of you guys LOTS!
With all the others, I'm thinking and praying that this works for you and quickly! It does look so official but hopefully that look means it is going to work! Hugs!
so exciting and so legit indeed. sending lots of hugs and happy baby vibes your way.
I am sending you a TON of happy, positive mojo, dearie!
I am so glad you are journaling this time in your life. I feel privileged to get a glimpse into the range of emotions you're going through.
Thank you for sharing this time with us. I agree with Nilsa when she says she feels privileged to get a glimpse into this very big moment. You are so strong, and I admire you so much.
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