Numb

I'm not sure how to start this post.

The second IUI worked. I got pregnant and we couldn't even believe it. We laughed and cried and even though I'm not a fan of hot weather, we decided summer would be awesome because come August we would become parents.

However, that euphoria was quickly replaced with doubt and concern.

This post isn't for details, but suffice it to say we had as many doctors' visits in a month as you typically do for an entire pregnancy. We knew things weren't looking good - the doctors prepared us for what was likely to happen.

And then it was confirmed.

No heartbeat.

A miscarriage.

Today we're headed in to get a d&c. There's almost a heartbreaking symmetry to this - this pregnancy began in a doctor's office, and will end in one.

I know I haven't fully processed this yet. So much of the past several weeks have been filled with I don't know and wait and see, that I don't think what's happening has really sunk in.

I thought about not blogging about this for another week or so, but I already feel like I haven't really been able to talk about it (even though the blog silence was self-imposed), and you all have been such incredible cheerleaders I wanted you to know what was going on. Thanks in advance for all the support.