Feb 4, 2014

A letter to our daughter

Dear Cecelia,

It's amazing how much you changed our lives in the short time you were with us.

You taught us how to love more. How to lean on each other more. How to let our support system hold us up.

You taught me blind love. When we were first told your heartbeat was not very strong and that it might stop beating, I felt like my heart stopped beating.

But later that day, I was on the couch and I started talking to you. I told you how we are fighters in this family. We are stubborn. We can do the unexpected.

I told you to just keep that heart beating - I could do the rest.

At our next appointment the doctor told us your heart rate wasn't any better and your growth was behind as well. I managed to stay calm, but I can still feel the pit in my stomach.

I knew at some point we were going to have to let you go.

I don't know why it happened - but I do know what I said to you remains true. You are a fighter; you kept your heart beating longer than the doctors expected you to. You are strong. And you are my daughter so you are most definitely stubborn!

I'm utterly heartbroken that we will mark these next few months thinking of how you would be growing, yet never hold you in our arms.

Thanks for being with us sweet girl - you will be forever loved.

See you in the stars baby.

Love,
Mom

8 comments:

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Aw, what a sweet letter... I am sure it will be so hard to mark the weeks that should have been weeks of different stages of her development... I wish so badly that she was still with you. Sending hugs. xoxo

Amber said...

XOXO

Jennifer Lara said...

Very sweet!

Leah Campbell said...

Tears. This is beautiful friend.

Nora said...

<3. Beautifully written, Becky. Love to you, Ben and Cecelia. xo

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

You are so very brave for writing about your journey and sharing your words with us. If I could, I'd hug you right now.

Mandy said...

Beautifully stated friend.

The Many Thoughts of a Reader said...

Beautiful letter.

Post a Comment

Say it. You know you want to.