Feb 17, 2014

A shimmer-full year

I didn't do a recap at the end of last year because I was so unsure of what was going on in my pregnancy. The majority of last year was centered around fertility and babies, but a lot of other things happened, and I don't want to forget them. So this is a couple months late, but I'm telling you, recaps for a year mid-February is going to become the new thing. (I'm nothing if not a trendsetter).

January
I decided my theme for the year would be to shimmer. I told you about our follow-up appointment where we were told an IUI was our best chance of getting pregnant, and then our decision to take time off of all things fertility. I visited a used bookstore with the funniest sign ever, and I finished knitting my first ever baby blanket (even though it was the size of...at least four babies).
February
I decided my monthly intention would be to "make the appearance," and I had a blast doing it. However, you wouldn't find that out until April because I decided at the last minute to give up blogging for Lent!

March
Still Lent! No blogging!

April
I returned full force! A lot can happen in 40 days including getting a tattoo, making the appearance like a champ, and having my first hard "fertility" day since we took our break. Ben and I visited St. Louis and decided yes we could live there, even though a penguin mocked me. I mourned the Boston bombing, reflected on the shame of silence during National Infertility Awareness Week, and ended the month with a whirlwind trip to Vegas.
May
This month was quieter on the blogging front. I had some hard days of letting go of the dream of having a baby the "normal" way. Fortunately, this was the month I met Kyla and Ashley which was the most fabulous! I also wrote a very hard breakup letter to a very crappy top coat. (Things got real people).
June
This month we were entertained by our niece and introduced her to pizza bagels. Ben and I decided to go forward with the IUI, and we were pumped and ready for it. This is also the month where I read The Night Circus which would later be the theme for my 30th birthday!
July
The month of the first IUI. I did "belated blogging" throughout this process and talked about building hope, reality setting in, our gratefulness for being surrounded by love, and how even when you're ready for something, sometimes you have a bit of a freakout. I read some fabulous books, including Carry On, Warrior, and it's not an exaggeration to say that book was life-changing for me.
August
This was a month of sadness for us. We found out the IUI didn't work and were crushed. We coped with music, friends, each other, and with the everyday moments. I went from sad to angry and knew I was moving through the stages of grief.
September
August was heartbreak, September was healing. Even when the weather doesn't cooperate, to me, September means autumn. New month. Fresh start. I celebrated being brave, making pretty good progress on my 30 before 30 list, mused on what I learned in my twenties, (sleep trumps household tasks, reading trumps sleep), and welcomed 30 with a fabulous Night Circus-themed midnight dinner! I finished the month with reading Tiny Beautiful Things and it was so good it's still sitting on my nightstand so I can thumb through it every so often.
Why yes I DO still think about this cake.
October
This month was kind of a whirlwind - starting with the ridiculous government shutdown that affected so many people. A few days later Ben and I marked six years of marriage, and even had a photo shoot to celebrate! We decided to go gluten free and while it wasn't long-lived, we were surprised with how much we enjoyed it. We ended the month by road-tripping to see Ben honored for his art and to celebrate the coolest library ever. A good month indeed!
November
I could sum up this month by simply saying Braveheart - this is when I got on my Scottish kick and was reading all the Scottish romance novels and watching Braveheart every day. (If you think I'm exaggerating, ask Ben). I had a blast with my handmade holiday series, and also bought the funniest bag ever for my yarn and knitting supplies. Ben and I decided to pursue another round of IUI (with different attitudes this time), and we recognized that even though a lot of this year had been hard we were still thankful.
December
According to my blog posts, in December I was wrapped up in the 12 Days of Love Letter Writing for More Love Letters, and focusing on love and the holidays. While that was definitely true, overall December was the month I was pregnant. I wrote draft blog posts of how I would share the news with you all when it was time, and we got excited thinking how we would have a baby with us next Christmas. Then it all went to shit. I didn't actually miscarry until early January, but this year was definitely book ended with fertility.
In spite of everything, 2013 was a helluva year.

And my original theme to shimmer? There were times it didn't feel like it, but yeah, I conquered that.

6 comments:

Kelly (She Wears a Red Sox Cap) said...

You saw so many wonderful bloggers last year :)
It was definitely a year for you, but I'm glad many great things happened too. I hope 2014 is a bit easier for you!

Nora said...

Love this recap! And still love your trip to STL last year!!! One of my favorite parts of 2013 by far :)

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

It was fun to read your recap of the year! You packed a lot in! I am thankful that I got to see you last year and hope that I will see you a couple times this coming year! You definitely faced a lot of very tough things, but you handled it all with grace and poise.

Amber said...

You had so many blogger meet-ups last year!!! So great! Yay for a shimmer-full year :)

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

I sort of love that you are able to bottle up the major themes of your year into one post. It's so interesting to see your life from a bird's eye view. It's nice to see your year had some great, fun moments and wasn't just marked by fertility stuff. Wish I had the patience (and, let's face it, time) to sit down and write a similar post.

Katelin said...

love that Shimmer was your word and how well you stuck to it. xo

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