Normally I pick a word, a theme for each year. Last year it was to shimmer - and I think I rocked it. However, this year started so crappy I knew I couldn't pick one thing to focus on; a lot of this year is just going to be enduring.
Still, the planner in me feels a little lost without something to think of, or to refer to, so my "theme" for this year is quite simple: do what makes you happy.
It sounds easy enough, but I've learned that in the past few years I've had to grant myself permission to be okay with things - how I'm feeling, how I'm not feeling, what I'm doing, etc. This is the year I am not just breaking those chains, I am throwing them out and embracing happiness no matter how big or small. Care to join me?
Making me happy right now:
*Supporting Etsy shops. I've found some good ones lately and I love contributing to a handmade business, even if it's only a small purchase. (Although if anyone wants to spend some money and send me this I wouldn't object!)
*Supporting and promoting Ben. I'm so so proud of him and am plugging away trying to help them reach their goal. (If you haven't checked it out yet - go! You can contribute or share on social media - every little bit helps!)
*Yoga. I've finally been able to jump back in. For so long I couldn't do active yoga because my body was recovering from the d&c, and then I went through a stage where I was scared of my body - to be honest I don't know that I'm completely past that yet, but I'm trying to feel more connected with it. I'm trying to honor what my body has done for me (let's be honest, it's been through a lot since last July) instead of feeling betrayed by it. It's a work in progress, but yoga is most definitely helping.
*Planning small adventures. I'm headed to NYC at the end of the month and hopefully in May will be headed to another fabulous conference, and then a family vacation soon to follow. Would I rather be pregnant and uncomfortable so I couldn't go to these places? Absolutely. But I can't change that, so I'm focusing my attention on the good that I can.
*Sometimes not being normal. I was talking to a friend the other day and they asked how I was doing. I told them it felt like life was getting back to normal...until it's not. It's been almost two months, and I've come to realize sadness is just a part of me now. Our daughter died. She was alive and inside me and then she wasn't. Saying it doesn't make it easier, but I've learned I hate the word miscarriage - it makes something so horrible sound like a silly little accident. So these days I'm okay - and sometimes I'm not, and that's my new "normal" for now.
*Reading romance novels. I have probably read every Scottish one that exists (okay maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but the number is up there),
but my goodness they are so easy and fun to read. I don't care that I'm
not reading anything more engaging, I'm simply enjoying myself.
Do you have a theme for this year? What is making you happy right now?