I think I'm in the "active" stage of grief. It's not really a stage (although maybe it is because I'm a grown-ass lady and I say it is), but I keep feeling called to do something more when it comes to infertility.
I cannot wait until Advocacy Day. I already have some posts in the works for National Infertility Awareness Week. I can't "fix" my infertility, and I can't change the fact that Cece (that's what we call her now) is gone, but I can speak, and bring awareness and for now, that's helping.
I've been thinking a lot about legacy and what we leave behind. Children are not the only way to leave a legacy - I know this. But on bad days, I have this worry that I'm just going to be the woman who couldn't have babies.
I know that's not true. I know it's not as simple as that, and I know that's not how others see me. But I'd be lying if I said that fear doesn't sneak into my heart every so often.
I want to make a manifesto - a collage of words and phrases that others associate with me. A couple weeks ago I emailed some people asking for their help. It was harder than I expected, but the response has been life-changing.
I'm overwhelmed by the words that come pouring from people - telling me I'm kind or fierce, brave and vivid, compassionate and honest, a good listener, and loved.
The emails have brought me to tears.
I am working with a talented friend to make this into the most awesome collage/word bubble ever. (I'm supplying her with the words and phrases, she will make it beautiful). I am going to have it printed - maybe on a canvas or maybe in something I can frame - and hang it in a place of honor.
I can't wait to share the final product with you!
Take a moment and think about yourself the way someone else does - it's a powerful thing.
What would your manifesto say?
If you want to contribute to my manifesto leave me some words or a phrase in the comments - I'll be sure to include it, and thanks in advance!
(Also, there's a fabulous giveaway happening this week and you can still enter!)