May 27, 2014

Coming Back

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the sadness in the world. All the tragedy that happens and how so much of it is unexpected and unjust.

Sometimes I watch really bad movies (ahem, Fast and Furious 6), and just laugh, knowing how much money it made.

Sometimes I go to Target and let myself imagine as I walk past the baby clothes. I never go into the aisles, but rather skirt the perimeter, gently touching the onesies and the sundresses, noting what would have been perfect for an August baby. Tears glisten in my eyes and I smile sadly, as I force myself onto a less dangerous section.

Sometimes I have conversations with Ben about all the grownup things - houses, kids, jobs, and to compensate for being such an adult I then plant myself on the couch and watch Netflix for several hours.

Sometimes I meet a friend for dinner and the weather, the conversation, and the evening is simply lovely. That friend will take a picture and when I get home I'll be so happy looking at it I'll tear up a little.

The past few months there have been times where I haven't felt like myself, where I've been lost and didn't know which way was up, times where I've almost been outside of myself, looking for where I've gone. When I saw this photo my heart sighed, "Ahhh, there she is."

8 comments:

Amber said...

I just LOVE that photo of you. I actually gasped out loud when I first saw it on instagram. It's so YOU and the way the light is is just stunning. Glad you are still able to find you in there someway, somehow. XO

Nora said...

This is a gorgeous photo of you, my friend. Glad you could reconnect with yourself; if you're like me, it's a little bit reaffirming to know that after all you've been through you can still find "you," among all the internal and external factors.

Hugs!

Emily said...

LOVE this post!!!! I love seeing that smile in that picture...i love watching you through this journey and seeing how completely honest you are with yourself...and with us as your readers.
you are brave, courageous, and an inspiration.

The Many Thoughts of a Reader said...

beautiful photo!

Stephany said...

I love that picture of you! It is so authentically Becky! :) I'm glad you're finding yourself again, friend. <3

Katelin said...

LOVE this picture so much. And love this post. I know what you mean about coming back, slowly but surely we'll start to get there again.

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

I LOVE that picture. And when I saw it, I thought - that is the essence of who Becky is. I am glad that the rays of light are peaking through and shining down on you. I know there are more clouds and thunderstorms ahead but it's good that you are starting to feel more like yourself.

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

I absolutely love that photo of you. You are BEAMING brighter than the rays of sunshine behind you!

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