I miss you.
There have been a lot of losses and tragedy that I've seen lately, and somehow it makes me yearn for you even more.
We've endured our first Mother's and Father's Days without you. Here's hoping those are the worst because they definitely were doozies.
I remember who screamed when I blurted out, "I'm pregnant." I remember who cried, who laughed, who squealed, and who cussed. (Trust me, your mom isn't the only one who uses colorful language when excited).
I don't know if I'll have that again. Regardless of whether or not I actually get pregnant again, I can't see being anything other than terrified what happened to you will happen again. I'm working through that, but I just don't know.
Your Dad and I are walking this weekend for you. We are looking forward to it - we've named our team after you, and we have some pretty awesome shirts if I do say so myself. It's called the Walk of Hope, and I'm clinging to that idea.
I could use some right now.
Because I'm sure the people will be wonderful, and the stories will be touching, but in my heart I know I would change this in an instant if I could - so I was still pregnant with you, and meeting you in less then two months.
All the love I have,