Dec 31, 2014

The moment in between

When I was little, my family took a lot of road trips - vacations, visiting family, shuffling to and from soccer tournaments - so there was a decent amount of time spent in the car. I'd entertain myself, I'd fight with my siblings, but my favorite moment was near the end of a trip, when we were almost home.

Eyes closed, head against the window, not asleep in the sense where I couldn't hear my surroundings, but enough if someone asked me a question I'm not sure I could respond.

I'd feel the car start to slow down - I could tell we'd gone from highway to local roads - and the closer we got, the more still everything seemed to be. Most of the time it would be at night, and the quiet seemed to grow, slowly building. I felt happy and safe, and completely relaxed. When the car came to a stop, I'd hear the familiar sounds - slight noise of the brakes, the gearshift being adjusted, emergency brake engaged, and finally, the keys turning and the car was silent.

It was only a moment, I couldn't even tell you how long, but that moment between the car shutting off and movement in the car was almost precious.

That's what I want I want 2015 to be.

So much of this year was steeped in sadness and anxiety for me - wondering how, if, when - and I'm hoping next year will bring only joy.

I want to savor where I am.

I want to be in the moment and not let fear of the future, or ghosts from the past overwhelm my present.

This year has been big for me in a lot of ways. I've learned how strong I am. I've learned what I'm capable of. I've learned that life continues on, and sometimes you stand still, but eventually I keep going.

I'm ready to let go of the sad, but to keep the lessons it brought me.

I'm ready to embrace the good.

I wish you all a safe and happy new year.

Here's to 2015.

9 comments:

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

I love the way you described that feeling of comfort and peace that comes over you when you approach home after a trip. I hope that 2015 holds those feelings for you. 2014 was mostly great for me because I got to come home, but there was a lot of change so in a way, the year exhausted me. So my hope for 2015 is that it's quieter and more peaceful as well. I want fewer changes and more time just 'being'. But I also know that the only thing that is constant is change, so it's probably wishful thinking to wish for a year that contains little change.

Happy New Year, friend!

Amber said...

I want you to write a book. Just saying. haha. You are such a beautiful writer!

I am feeling really exhausted going into 2015. I want to slow down this year and just be more as well. I am also hoping to really step away from using my phone too much. I mindlessly scroll through Facebook and Instagram WAY too much every night when I should be reading a book or talking to my husband. I'm toying with a challenge where I put my phone in a drawer each night when I get home and don't take it out until like 8pm or something along those lines.

Happy New Year to you, Ben and lemon! Love you all! xoxo

Kate @ GreatestEscapist.com said...

Oh, I LOVE this analogy & I can so relate. That's the sort of feeling you don't even realize you have until someone explains it & you're like, "Oh, I know that well. Me, too!"

Great post, great sentiment. Happy 2015!

Nora said...

I love this! Reminds me of my childhood, too... here's to a great 2015. <3

Katelin said...

Yes, love it. Cheers to a fabulous 2015 xo

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

I hope 2015 gives you more than you ever imagined you'd want to savor. Happy New Year to you, too!!

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