Apr 14, 2015

Granting Grace (part two)

Last time I talked about granting grace it was about learning to cut myself some slack and acknowledge that no matter how badly I wanted it, pregnancy can be hard.

But there's a bigger grace I've been granted throughout this pregnancy - the love and well wishes of my fellow infertility warriors. 

I've made a voice for myself in the infertility community - mostly through the help of Resolve - and I have met so many incredible men and women battling this same disease. Everyone is at different stages, but there's a bond there, an understanding that you don't have to explain, and as much as infertility can be hell, I am grateful for the people I've met because of it.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I wasn't sure what to think - and my first thought was how am I going to tell all my friends in the infertility community? Of course this is what everyone is working towards (in one way or another), but having been on the other side I know how hard it can be to hear someone else is pregnant, when it's still not you. I know what it feels like to be excited for someone, yet still heartbroken for yourself, and that it can be hard to separate those feelings.  I know what it's like to hide a friend in a facebook feed or unfollow them on instagram because you're not sure you can take the "bump" updates.

I decided to approach it the way I would want to hear - individually, through an email, text, or facebook message - that way there's no pressure for the other person to immediate react or respond. I shared with all my fellow warriors a few weeks before Ben and I shared the news with social media. I let each person know that I didn't want them to be blindsided by an announcement and that I completely understood if this was hard to read, and to not even feel like they had to respond, I just wanted them to know.

There was so much love and joy poured back to me in each of those messages - I was blown away.

I've talked about a lot of aspects of pregnancy - there are times when I've gotten a little whiny, or frustrated, yet I've received nothing but support from women who are suffering from losses, or painful procedures, and I am absolutely and completely humbled.

The thoughts and experiences brought on by infertility don't just go away, and that's something I hope I've conveyed throughout this experience. There are times I've tried to be sensitive and times I know I've failed. But I'm not going to stop advocating for better coverage and rights for infertility treatments, or stop trying to raise awareness about the disease and the organization that educates people about it.

But to be shown so much love and support by so many who have been there or are still there? It brings me to tears. Even as I'm writing this I know I'm not doing this justice so I'll end it with this:

To my fellow infertility warriors - thank you for your kindness, your love, and your support as Ben and I get ready to enter this next phase of our lives. Thank you for cheering us on and for being there for us - I can't wait to return the favor. Sending you so much light and love. xoxo.

7 comments:

BFraze said...

This made me cry.

Dani said...

That's what makes you different. Most advocates stop advocating when they finally get what they want, and they stop talking about it.

Nora said...

Reason 10,000,000 you're an awesome person: this post. I love that you are still involved with Resolve and those who are a part of it. They have a special and beautiful gem in you!

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

I agree with what Dani said - you are going to make a difference and will continue to advocate for those who struggle with infertility for years to come. I can imagine how it's been difficult at times to have something that so many others have yearned for, but you have really handled this with such grace and compassion.

Kelly (She Wears a Red Sox Cap) said...

I'm so glad that others have been able to support you even though you are experiencing what they so hope for. You have done that for so many before you and it couldn't have been hard any of those times. You are amazing and that is all :)

Katelin said...

I could have written this myself. Love you friend xoxo

Amber said...

I totally echo other commenters that it's especially amazing how you continue to advocate for the cause even though you're now pregnant. Your passion shines through your words and it's truly special. I can imagine it would have felt really hard to tell your fellow infertility warriors when you found out you were pregnant but I'm so happy you received an outpouring of support!!

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