After our second IUI, the phone call when the nurse told me I was pregnant. The over the top giddiness when telling our families. The awe of seeing her heartbeat for the first time.
The sheer terror when I started bleeding. The anxiety as I rested on the couch, not knowing what would happen. The clench in my gut as a doctor in a Santa hat told us there was a good chance the baby's heartbeat would stop altogether. It was Christmas Eve.
There are dozens of other moments - the final confirmation of no heartbeat, the day of my d&c - too many of them to list.
I remember the first moment I realized I was going to be a mom, and I remember the moment when that was taken away.
I will always remember.
October is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness month, and October 15th is Remembrance Day.
There are too many angel babies in Heaven. There are too many parents with empty arms and heavy moments of remembering.
Tonight, at 7 PM (local time), I will light a candle to honor, and remember those lives. The miscarriages, the stillbirths, the babies born who don't make it - we remember you all. We honor and love you.
You are gone but never forgotten.
Will you join me tonight in lighting a candle and remembering?