Apr 27, 2016

A letter to my son on his first birthday

Dear Parker Boy,

I cannot believe you are one! A year ago I was in labor, and at one point I tearfully said to your Dad, "he's never coming out!" We had waited and waited and waited, and were just so excited to meet you!

I still remember hearing you cry for the first time. I gasped, and tears filled my eyes as your Dad and I looked at each other in awe. Once they had checked you out, the nurse brought you to me. Your eyes were closed. I whispered, "Hi Parker," and even with eyes still shut, you turned your head toward me. The tears were stronger then as I kissed you over and over, and the nurse cried, "he knows who you are!" My first proud Mama moment.

This year was all about firsts - for you and me.

You've taught me how to go big.

Big with my love, big with my forgiveness. Big with my protectiveness, and my humbleness. I didn't know I had this capacity for love this big, but you showed me how.
So many times during this year your Dad and I have looked at each other in wonder - like we did the first time you cried - sometimes because of something you've done, but more often than not, simply because you're here.

We prayed for you. We wished for you. We hoped for you. We waited almost five years for you.

And yet you are so much more breathtaking than I could have ever dreamed.

This has been the best and hardest year of my life. I can't promise we have it all figured it out, but I promise we'll keep trying.

I will always love you.

I will always show up for you.

Thank you being the sweetest, most hilarious, amazing little man!

Happy Birthday sweet baby - I love you so.

All my love,
Mom

12 comments:

Nora said...

This just made me cry at my desk. <3 <3 <3

Kelly (She Wears a Red Sox Cap) said...

Same as Nora! Happy Birthday to Parker!!! <3

Non Sequitur Chica said...

Happy birthday Parker!

Kate @ GreatestEscapist.com said...

Happy birthday, Parker! Sending you lots of love today.

Leigh said...

Happy birthday Parker!

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Aw, this is the sweetest letter. I am so glad that your miracle baby is in your life. This definitely brought tears to my eyes. I hope that Parker had the best birthday yesterday! He's such a sweet and handsome little guy. I can't wait to watch him grow into the man he is going to be!

Lindsey said...

"You taught me how to go big". And now I'm crying at my desk because I so, so get it. I couldn't be happier for you and Ben, and I truly believe Parker is one of the luckiest little boys in the world to have you for his mama. You gave me hope in the past, when I felt like giving up, and now you give me the drive to keep going on this crazy journey. I can't wait to bring our Rainbow Babies together, and give you the biggest tackle hug ever. Love you!!

Charbelle4 said...

Crying at my desk. Happy Birthday Parker!!!

Breathe Gently said...

Happy birthday, P. xx And well dona mama!

Katelin said...

No, I'm not crying, you're crying, we're all crying! Ah! Emotions! All of them! Happy Birthday Parks!

Amber said...

Happy Birthday sweet Parker! I cannot believe it has been a year already since your birth. I love watching you grow up through your mom's blog! Your parents love you so so much and you are one lucky little guy <3 <3

Patricia Venkatesh said...

nancy@mail.postmanllc.net

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